Hey Trish:
Great news! My daughter is getting married in the Spring! We couldn’t be happier. We love her and her choice for a husband. My question surrounds the wedding, more specifically, the wedding guests. I understand that weddings are a much different affair than when I was getting married. When we got married it was more about your family and friends watching you make a commitment to your intended and then having a small reception following the ceremony. The current trend in weddings now Focuses more on the reception and the guests enjoying the party. That being said, my daughter wants to put on the invitations that children under the age of 16 are not encouraged to come to the reception. Does this seem rude to you or is it just me?
Party Pooper?
Hey Party Pooper!
This is such a relevant question. My children are also at the age in which we are attending weddings for them and their friends. I have been going to these weddings and even hosted a wedding within the past few years and I have seen the trend to request adults only at the wedding. While I do not think this is considered to be an outrageous request in the current climate, I would say that there are some consequences to think about when asking your guests to not bring their children.
First, your guests might be coming from out of town. If that is the case, then leaving their children at home becomes a much bigger deal. Would it be possible to have a licensed babysitter near buy that they could use? Second, sometimes you have children in the ceremony. Are those children not allowed to partake of the reception? If those children attend the reception it might make others who left their children at home feeling as if it was just their children not invited. Finally, when deciding for an adult only reception it does make it easier when serving alcohol, Sometimes this can be a win and a loss at the same time. People tend to behave better when younger eyes are watching. Drunken wedding are fun, until they are not!
Weddings have become a major financial decision. The cost per guest can be one of the reasons why many are choosing to have only adults at the reception. This makes sense. Also, let’s face it, weddings are not a child’s idea of fun. This can lead to unhappy children and unhappy parents and unhappy people setting by unhappy children and parents. So it is not always a bad thing to have this type of wedding. My suggestion is to weigh out the pros and cons of asking people not to bring their children. If you have some people that you think might be offended by this, call them up! Tell them why you have chosen to have an adults only wedding and encourage them to try to come if they can. Note, you have to be Ok with the fact some can’t and some won’t just out of protest. In the end it really is about the bride and groom. Their choices of how they are going to spend their day is what is most important.
Mazel tov!
Trish