I have a teenage son who has been dating a girl for almost two years. She is so attached to him that she gave up a sports scholarship to a D1 university to go to the school my son chose. The weirdest part is her parents let her! He never asked her to do this. She just said she couldn’t be away from him. This decision was made their junior year of high school. Now, it is a few months before they are off to university and my son has asked that they break up. He wants to enjoy his college experience and is afraid of being tied down. He was hoping that going to separate schools would provide some needed space, but he couldn’t talk her out of it.
Needless to say this did not go well. She was furious with him. She blamed him for her choices. The idea that he would want to spend time with friends and her instead of just her was not an option. This was the only way he could have any space. The worst part is her mom has now gotten into this. She texts me and messages me saying that I need to talk to him about his actions and how they should get back together. She even helped her daughter hack into his college account and changed his classes without his permission! I have talked with him but truly feel like he dodged a bullet by ending it with her. Am I wrong. Should I speak to him about getting back together since she did rearrange her schools to be with him?
Meddling Mom in Maryland
Hey Meddling Mom!
Well I think I am going to agree with you when you said “bullet dodged”. From what you told me your son did not ask for the girl to follow him to college. Ultimately, this was her decision. At 18 years of age it is impossible to expect young love to always work out. That is why parents should step in and intervene when life decisions are being made based on a boyfriend or girlfriend. It seems to me that this discussion should’ve happened between the girl and her parents prior to the girl switching schools. I would suggest to drive down the well traveled “Stay Out of It” road. The fact that the mother helped the girl hack into an official account of your sons shows that there is a lack of boundaries in that family. I say be done with this and be thankful that these are not your future in-laws. Finally, if I were to suggest a discussion to have with your son it would be to reflect on the positives and negatives of this relationship and what he would like to see in his next relationship.
Now go buy yourself a lottery ticket because I think you are one lucky bug!