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DEADLINES A NIGHTMARE

By Columnist Bob Bridge

 


DEADLINES A NIGHTMARE

“You can’t just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. What mood is that? Last-minute panic.”

 - Bill Watterson 


A friend, recently retired, mentioned he was experiencing nocturnal fantasies regarding our former workplace. A few of these nefarious nightmares were significantly stressful, utterly unsettling.


The focal point of his fright? Deadlines, a worthy adversary for a multitude of creative writers.


Yes, I still suffer from those horrid, recurring recollections.


The best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry. Why? For yours truly, perhaps procrastination plays a prominent role. 


While I endeavor to be seated at my typewriter with ample time to spare, life intervenes as I compose my columns. 


Pensive and quiet, I probably appear peaceful. However, beneath the skin I am the eye of the storm.


Words and ideas are exasperatingly evasive. Alas, writer’s block, a merciless affliction, unsuitable for the squeamish, has reared its ugly head.


Tick, tock. Tick, tock.


I sip coffee and try to remain calm, waiting not-so patiently for the cloud of doom to dissipate.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.


Painstakingly persistent, I plow forward. Sensing I’m not making much progress, I steal a glance at the large clock on the wall.


Tick, tock. Tick, tock.


Why won’t that proverbial lightbulb illuminate in my brain? Why can’t I stay focused? This is just too depressing to tolerate.


At this point, I am thinking about anything and everything but the assignment at hand. 

What if I fail to finish in time? Will the press guys rub ink in my eyes? Danger! Impending danger! 


Tick, tock. Tick, tock.


Time is not my BFF. This sorry situation is rapidly deteriorating. My resolve is beginning to crumble.


Suddenly, something clicks. An iota of an idea materializes. At last, the dominoes begin to tumble. 


The keyboard is on fire. I am typing at warp speed.


Presto! The column is complete!


No problem. Piece of cake. What shall I write about next? 


Well ... 


We’ll worry about that tomorrow. Time for lunch.




Contact Columnist Bob Bridge at 812–276-9646 or bbbbbridge@gmail.com.

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